This summer during my second internship at a bank, I have learned a great deal about the different products that the company offers to educate, advise, and guide its customers in making the best banking decisions. So I’ve decided to give my readers some education, advice, and guidance about friendship!
Too often have I heard other young women say, “I can’t have ‘girlfriends’ because they’re too messy” or “I’d rather hang with guys any day over other girls”, and boy oh boy how this grinds my gears! Now I too have witnessed pettiness and cattiness from females towards one another, but to categorize all girls/women as catty or petty is something I just can’t condone. How in the world can you categorize over 3.52 billion women into one category…? But that’s another blog for another day! LOL Let us stay on track!
Today, I am talking to you all about friends! Anyone remember the 1980s song by Whodini called Friends? Sure you do, “Friends! How many of us have them…?” Great song! Or the recent social media video sing-a-long, “That’s my best friend! That’s my best friend! Yassss, you better….!” Look it up if you don’t know it! It was everywhere… okay there I am getting distracted again, stay with me I promise this will be good!
Where were we? Right, FRIENDS! Such a delicate subject! I’m sure many of you have had both positive and negative experiences with “Friends”! I, for one, have experienced both! And honestly not all of it was the other person’s fault, sometimes it was me! But I am not here to tell stories upon stories of my broken hearted friendships, I’m here to shed light and spread awareness on my successes with friendships that will hopefully inspire someone to become a better friend.
You see, friends are meant to be down for the long haul. Rolling slow like four flat tires! Hanging on for dear life like an old weave job! And even there as a co-pilot in navigating this thing we call the flight life. Friendships are more about quality than quantity and should consist of equal effort from all parties. But what happened to all of the real friends? Are they lost? Well, let’s find them!
I’ve created some duties of real friends using 6 terms that I’ve learned in my experience at the bank! In my opinion, the following terms will assist in developing the best friendships possible!
6 Bank Terms of The Friendship Bank:
Investment Bankers: Invest in each other, whether it means proofreading a business plan, going to a special event, or posting a friend’s event flyer on social media. Like investment bankers, a friend should be willing to put in the time, effort, and sometimes even the financial support needed to increase the prosperity of her friend. Invest in her dreams, her ideas, her success, and you too will feel successful! Because you take the time to invest in her and she in you, if one of you wins both of you win! Uplift and encourage your friends to accomplish their dreams. Engulfing yourself in your friend’s dreams and ideas will allow you to support her on another level. Investing in one another will give you the balance that you need to whole heartedly support each other.
Safe Deposit Boxes: Friends keep secrets! Similar to safe deposit boxes at a bank, friends are responsible for locking away and keeping each other’s most valuable possessions safe. It is important that friends are able to trust and confide in one another. Like sisters, friends should be able to take off the masks and truly be themselves in each other’s presence. Keeping her secrets safe and sometimes being the only one who understands the things she’s insecure about or the things she’s experienced is one of the best jobs a friend can have. Never use your access to this box to belittle her or make her feel uncomfortable, but always to elevate and help her to overcome the things that may be holding her back.
Risk Management Team: Like that of a bank’s risk management department, friends should be willing to identify, evaluate, and support the ideas, decisions, and choices of each other, sometimes even to the point of better judgment and reconsideration. It is important to have friends in your corner who will serve as accountability partners, wardrobe police, booger detectives, and even crime stoppers. Check in on your friends frequently to see if they’ve met deadlines or if they’re accomplishing what they said they would. Sometimes we all need that extra push, so serving as your friends risk management team will do just that. Tell her when her skirt is too tight or her hair is sticking up. Be honest with her about when she needs to dump the bad guy or when she should give the corny guy a chance. Tell her when she needs to pray and pray with her! Serve as her around the way girl, there to kick it with her, but also be there to be honest and tell her when she’s done too much kicking it and not enough work. The key to risk management in friendship is honesty, accountability, and sincere support for your friend.
Debt Forgivers: Just like overdraft protection at a bank, be there for your friend when she’s gone a little over budget. This is not simply concerning money, but also things like if she’s said something rude, if she was moody during that time of the month, or if she blew you off for a hot date. Forgive her. I can’t tell you how many friendships I’ve lost or how many people I know who have lost long friendships over the foolishness of unforgiveness. As human beings, of course we have to draw the line at some point, but be sure to establish a limit with your friend and express to her when enough is enough. If she owes you $20 from a movie ticket three years ago don’t kick her to the curb, just tell her that next time you all go to the movies it’s her treat. Friendships should be mutualistic so if you’re supporting and forgiving her during her lows, she should be supporting and forgiving you during yours. It’s all about balance, being there for each other and forgiving pettiness. Friends don’t remind each other of the debts they owe or the favors they’ve done, they do it from their hearts like sisters.
Business Bankers: When she eats, you eat! Similar to business bankers, friends work hard together and play hard together. As a friend, you should be climbing the ladder with your friend, hand in hand. There’s plenty of room at the top for everyone. The term mutualistic comes to mind again concerning business bankers. Your friends should be there pushing and pulling you to the top and you the same for her. It is important to realize that when you are the only one working hard in the group that maybe you need a new group. If your friends are motivating you to be about your business and to accomplish your goals, they are truly ones you need in your corner. Business banking is a team effort, when the business (you) cashes in, the banker (her) reaps the benefits too and vice versa. Therefore, your friends should be challenging you to excel and to accomplish your goals in you all’s plan to take over the world. There is something majorly attractive about women who complement each other by being equivalents at the table of success.
Money Lovers: Who doesn’t love money? Well consider loving your friends like you love your money! Invest in them, keep them in a safe place and protected, avoid spending too frivolously, and take them to the bank to cash. Your friendship should be worth more than anything money can buy. Engulf yourself in the love and support of your friends even if they’re doing better than you at the present moment. If they are a real friend, they will bring you up to speed with them. Lastly, if you’ve had experiences with friendships gone badly don’t give up, try it again. Just like money, you can’t save it all, but with hard work more will come. Work hard for your friends and your friendships will be successful.
People always ask me what I’ve learned since interning at a bank. I guess I learned something worth more than money can buy! Use the 6 terms to check yourself because it takes a good friend to know a good friend! The key to having real friends and meaningful friendships is simple… JUST BE ONE! Now that you know, “Girl, go get yourself some friends…”
By: Verinique D. Bailey “The V. In Virtue”
Disclaimer: This blog post is solely opinion based and my views are not that of Regions Financial Corporation.