Picture it, March 15, 2015! (In Sophia’s voice from the Golden Girls – LOL) I was traveling home from a sorority conference and going back and forth with myself over the idea of cutting my hair. After arriving home and unpacking I grabbed the keys and went “to run some errands” as I explained to my family. Well, I’ll admit, I did a bit more than just run some errands, but we will get to that later!
A few months prior, I decided to change my look and ended up cutting several inches of my hair to achieve the pixie cut style. AND I LOVED IT! I rocked that pixie cut, even when my NAPtural edges and roots would creep to the surface! I would slap a relaxer on my scalp real quick and keep going! No one could tell me a thing!
But while my naps were creeping, I faced a dilemma, “To cut or not to cut my hair?” …that was the question! Frequent relaxers were just too risky and unsafe so I had to make a choice. I struggled with agreeing to cut my hair because cutting it meant returning natural. Anyone who knows me knew that being natural was something I vowed never to do again until I was forty and married with four children and going through menopause! (LOL) Seriously! After three failed attempts at returning natural I could not do it again! The first time was great, but I burned my hair out by flat ironing it wayyy too much (even 2-3 times a day between classes)! The second time, my natural leave out wouldn’t blend with my silky XQ Remy so the fro had to go! And the third time I’d given up weave and tried to just grow my hair out, but experimenting with products to find what actually worked with my texture didn’t quite work well with my college budget so I resorted back to the creamy crack! Needless to say, I was well over the thought of having natural hair!
Okay back to the story! So I went to run my errands which was simply a trip to the salon. I walked in and requested to have my hair cut off! The beautician looked confused! She probably was thinking, “Lady you barely have hair as it is!” (LOL) She showed me to the chair and I could feel my heart beating out of my chest! I was extremely nervous! Not only would this be the most drastic thing that I’d ever done to my hair, but there also stood the fact that no one knew that I was doing it! Though I’d previously showed my family and a line sister pictures of the haircut I envisioned, I’d long decided not to talk about my hair with others because I didn’t want anyone to talk me out of my decision. So there I was in the salon chair and when I felt those clippers run through my head I knew a change had begun…
It was the beginning of me not needing permission!
In the past, I would often asked other people their opinions on how I should style my hair, what color I should get, what length of weave I should buy, and even if it was professional enough. I found myself changing my hairstyle to fit a certain lifestyle and the opinions of others. But this BIG chop was much different mainly because I kept it to myself until the moment it was done. No one could talk me out of it! No one could influence my decision! No one could put in their two sense (or two cents – Google didn’t know and neither do I! – LOL) and hurt my feelings! Nope, none of that!
It was the beginning of true confidence!
It would be difficult to hide such a drastic chop so it was obvious that my confidence had to match my hair cut! In all honesty, cutting it off boosted my confidence ten million levels! After I cut my hair I knew I could wear ANY style and still feel beautiful! After the cut was finished, the beautician turned me around and I saw my peanut shaped head for the first time in my life and I LOVED IT! (Heyyyy little peanut!) I even cried because I was sooooo happy and so in love with the sight of me!
It was the beginning of change!
They say “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life!” (Coco Chanel) And I couldn’t agree more! Life since my big chop hasn’t been the same, not because I looked good and felt different, but because I decided from that point forward if there were changes needing to be made in my life, they would start with me! It was the start of cutting the things off that held me back… beginning with my hair!
As women, our hair is our everything! To us our hair is a form of our self-expression! Our identity! Our being! It represents who we are, what we are battling, and what we’ve overcome! It is a reflection of our culture and our heritage! We don’t need advice on whether to be natural, to wear weave, to have press-n-curls, to have a relaxer, or to dye it any color of the rainbow! We don’t need anyone’s opinion on what is appropriate and what isn’t! We don’t need permission and we surely don’t have to beg for forgiveness! We are NOT our hair, simply the keeper of it; therefore, our truth lies within us and NOT our hair!
Cutting my hair was the first thing I’d ever done in life that I truly decided to do alone and since then I haven’t turned back! On March 15, 2015 my hair meant more to me than ever before… I joined all of the other women around the world in deeming my hair MY CROWN AND MY GLORY!
By: Verinique D Bailey, “The V. in Virtue”
A Few Hair Flashbacks!
**^Feburary 2012 – XQ Remy!***
***December 2014 -Relaxed Hair!***
***January 2015 – Pixie Cut!***
***March 15, 2015 – After Leaving the Salon!***
***April 5, 2015 – Easter Sunday! A few weeks post BIG chop!***
***January 2016 – 10 months post big chop!***
***April 5, 2016 – Over a year post BIG chop!***