One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in life is how to apologize.
Many of us haven’t quite learned this skill yet! We think we are always right and never have anything to apologize for or anyone to answer to. Or here’s one even better, we are not willing to see our wrong in situations and as a result still not apologizing.
It’s sad, honestly. Many of us are soooo prideful that we don’t feel obligated to apologize. Like we don’t owe anyone a thing! We walk through life with no cares in the world and if we offend someone along the way it is no skin off our backs.
“Bye girl! I’m better off without you!” or “I don’t see anything I did wrong! Such and such needs to grow up!”
Just another lost friend, lost associate, lost whoever it was that didn’t see things our way and/or stay out of your way!
Now pride is another blog post for another day, but I want you to understand the freedom in at least apologizing, genuinely!
Recently, I found myself apologizing to some people that I’d once really offended! (One of which I mentioned in another blog post – Spring Cleaning!) After strengthening my relationship with God, I felt led by him to say I was sorry and to admit the wrong that I’d played in these situations. When it was first placed on my heart I was like, “No way Lord! I’m not about to go digging up no two to three year old mess just to apologize! They never said they were sorry to me!” I was soooo frustrated and I put it off for days, debating back and forth in my mind about if I was going to chose to do it or not! And then I remember laying in bed one night with my mind all over the place! I wanted to do things my way! I wanted to “hold my ground”! Who was I to apologize anyway? I only did what I did to retaliate for what they’d done to me… Right? So I’d thought! It was eaiser to think of it that way than to actually see my part in any of it!
Suddenly, God reveled to me the mess that my life had been since I wronged those people! Some situations I did knowingly, but that night he even revealed wrongs that I’d done unknowingly. I cried my eyes out! How could I have been so horrible of a person? Then a feeling of peace overcame me. I knew what I had to do! I prayed, dried my eyes, and fell fast asleep.
The next day, I found myself searching for some of those girls on social media and typing long direct messages to express my apologies and others I wrote letters to! To my surprise it was like a load lifted off of me! I was free from the burden that I’d been holding for years! A burden I’d eventually learned to live with and didn’t even realized still existed!
In those very moments, I felt the release of the weight from carrying around the baggage of not apologizing! You see, even though I was the one apologizing I felt free simply because I didn’t have to force myself to hold grudges and to be upset with someone else. Saying I was sorry, whether they said it or not or even chose to respond and forgive me, made me feel a sense of forgiveness from the Lord! It was like because I was apologizing to them, I was also apologizing to him by simply doing what he’d instructed of me!
Apologizing was a beautiful thing!
In all things I encourage you to apologize! Genuinely and whole heartedly! Let that mess go that you’re holding on to! Stop forcing yourself to feel some type of way about lil Shelia because she cursed you out so you cursed her out! Put you big girl pants on and own up to your part in the mess that was made! Say you’re sorry and mean it! Then you can move on whether she’s ever sorry or not, and whether she forgives you or not!
Additionally, if someone tells you you’ve wronged them, don’t try to debate about whether or not you think you were wrong. Just apologize! It’s simple! Besides, how can you tell someone else how you made them feel? Right, you can’t! So apologize!
What are you holding on to today? Who have you hurt? What have you done to someone else that you know was wrong? What have you done that you didn’t know was wrong? Pray about it and the Lord will reveal it to you!
The beautiful thing about the Lord is that if he sees your pure heart and your desire to make things right as unto his will, he will forgive you and that’ll be all the forgiveness you need!
So I ask you, who are you sending a BEAUTIFUL APOLOGY to today?
By: Verinique D. Bailey, “The V. in Virtue”